For the last couple of days I have not been able to get over the feeling that I am totally overwhelmed by what is going on in my life. Where to even start the list…
1. My friend who is not talking to me. We are supposed to be going to Canada in October. How do I approach this? Do I even want to be in a car with her for 10 hours there and back? How did this situation get so far out of control? The trip is right in front of an exam… how do I study for it?
2. My dog Luca. I dropped a whole bunch of money on her to confirm that she has what I thought she had – hip dysplasia or arthritis. I didn’t do the xrays to confirm which it was because both are treated the same way and I didnt want to know how serious the problem was. I would much rather pretend that she is going to live many more years than know she might only have a year or two. The doctor was able to confirm that she is NOT going blind. So one piece of good news. It is ripping my heart out to see her walk. She sometimes drags her one leg a bit and has problems on smooth floors like wood or laminate. And yet, when she gets excited about going for a walk – she acts like the puppy I still remember.
3. Work – Today at least I was pretty productive! but I worry about my job because I have not been terribly productive. My personal life has been so overwhelming that I feel like my productivity has been affected. My annual review is coming up very soon so I guess I will find out what my boss thinks.
4. Homework – When does it end??? Tonight I wrote up a 7 page report on the museum I visited yesterday. I still need to proof it and I still have the following to do this weekend:
a. Spanish exercises and readings for the last two weeks.
b. Read La Casa en Mango Street and answer questions for discussion. In addition, answer in Spanish 9 questions out of about 20 possibilities with great insight and literary analysis for my take home exam
c. Finish up study notes so I can study next weekend for my midterm exam in History
d. Proof previous research paper I wrote for my history class and get help polishing it from room mate. Add bibliography and footnotes
It is unlikely I will accomplish all of it. I can only hope I get all done but the 9 questions. I expect the next 2 weekends to be totally full of homework too. Oh and every week night that I don’t have class! Social life? What the heck is that?? This is one reason why I am glad that Angel is in Texas. He is safely out of temptation way. I would want to spend more time with him that I could probably afford.
5. My health – My shoulder is killing me and the headaches are back. Last night I couldnt find a comfortable position to sleep. Tonight I am taking Benadryl along with Advil to help make me sleepy. I am still worried about the fact that I have no period since my surgery. I hate waiting for doctor’s appt. And what is he going to be able to figure out? I am also waiting to call back on my test results for STD. Im praying I dont forget to call at the right time. And waiting for the wait period to end to test for AIDS.
6. Faith crisis – Where is GOD? I think that sums it up.
7. Where is my money going and why is it so hard to save when I barely spend money on anything frivolous.
Interestingly enough neither Angel nor Leonardo are particularly on my mind. Maybe Im too tired with the other things?
Things to be thankful for:
1. I have other friends that support me
2. Luca’s medication is not expensive
3. I have health insurance
4. I have savings and don’t live pay cheque to pay cheque.
5. I have a job, a roof over my head and food in my fridge
6. I have a date on Sunday?
7. My paper is written on schedule.
8. I like my room mate.