I heard from someone today that I had not heard from in probably a year… my first husband. He emailed me today to say that he was having another child – his third. I am so happy for him. I always knew he would make a good father and he loves children.
What I thought was really interesting was that I had been thinking of my first husband a lot in the last couple of weeks. I had been wondering if I should call him or email him but just hadn’t gotten around to it. Often times, he has called me right after a milestone event saying he has been thinking of me and how is everything. He called me right after one of my surgeries and soon after I separated from my husband. After all these years, we still seem to have some kind of bond that seems to tell us when something important is happening in each other’s life. Its weird and yet its comforting to know that there is someone out there.
So many people in my life are reaching goals that I still seem to be struggling to obtain. I am envious that they have accomplished it and I am still so very far away. My best friend Rosi is married to a man that is a total sweetheart. My first husband is having a baby. Another owns a home – a real home with a yard. Its true, I feel envy for them but I am also happy for them. They are my friends… how can I not be happy that they are succeeding in their lives.? But a little bit of sadness creeps in that it is not me celebrating those milestones.
One day, I hope to be celebrating these milestones for myself. But in the meantime, I plan on trying to remember that I have plenty to be thankful for. For instance, my mammogram came out clean today!!!