Communication revisited – again!

Sometimes my honey drives me nuts. He asks a question – usually an important question like – “Are you happy with our sex life?” And you know that there is a reason for this question but will he come right out and say it?  Of course not!!!  He beats around the bush until he has totally upset you because you think that he is hiding something that he doesn’t want to tell you… like… “You are the worst lover I have ever had” And after finally prying the information out of him you find out it is nothing at all like you thought although what he had to say was important.  You ask him why he just won’t come out and tell you what is on his mind and he responds back, “es dificil”.  Of course it is difficult! And he certainly doesn’t make it easier. 

Eduardo says he is simple.  I am starting to think he is simply complicated.  A lot of things go on his mind and he is far from a simple guy.  At the bottom, he might be simple. By this, I mean that he wants basic, simple things from life like a job, a family, a roof over his head and food on the table.  On top of this simple base is layered a complex man. 

I have to admit that I am head over heels for this complex man.  Sometimes I have to pinch myself to make sure I am not dreaming.  We agree on so many things although I think we are very different people.  We certainly think differently… that is for sure.  When I am with him, I feel content and at peace.  When I am not with him, I think of him all the time.  Mostly those thoughts are simple thoughts like the way he puts his arms around me or an expression on his face or something he said.  I miss him terribly when I am not with him.  He seems like he could be the partner I am looking for.  He helps with groceries, putting the dishes away, cleaning the house, the laundry and even helps me with cooking.  I want someone to help me with everything… not just enjoy the fun things.  He sits with his arm around me and watches TV while I do homework.  He is funny and makes me laugh.  He is also serious too.  He will talk about anything and we often watch shows that are informational and talk about what we see.

I still see some heated discussions in our future.  I am not sure if it is because we think differently, the cultural differences or the language issue but we do have problems understanding the other person.  I don’t mean that we don’t understand the words that come out of each others mouths.  We don’t understand or maybe trust the meaning or intent of the other person’s words.  We have difficulty understanding what the other person mean by the words they are saying and as a result we have gotten upset.  I know that I have had to explain the same thing several times to Eduardo because he doesn’t believe what I am saying because it is not within his experience.  And he too has had to repeat things he has said before because I don’t really understand what he is trying to tell me.  Sure… I understand the words but there is more to communication than just the words that are said.   

I am not dissuaded by these difficulties.  Eventually, we do come to some kind of understanding of the other person.  When one of us talks, the other person really tries to listen.  When we upset the other person, in general, we are able to correct it because we want to understand and we want the other person to understand.

Nuestra relacion vale la pena – Our relationship is worth it.

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3 responses to “Communication revisited – again!

  1. Congrats!  YOu’re dating a MAN…honey, all men think they’re simple….they just don’t do well with the expressing of the emotions thing…don’t knock it as a flaw in Eduardo…it’s a universal male trait 🙂  glad you’re happy.  -rey

  2. Billie darling.. i feel so out of touch with the going ons in your life!! Wow, u sound absolutely happy with eduardo.. he must be pretty special in all his complex ways huh.. i guess it is the complexity that makes us fall in love with them.. And i feel for ur one quote.. ever so potent..The relationship should just fit or it is not the correct relationship… how often do we force ourselves to work on relationships when we should have just enjoyed the moment spent together..
     
    Elle x

  3. I think it is wonderful that you challenge each other and are both vested in the relationship to work equally hard at it’s success.
    I am happy for you!  How is Harmony adjusting? Those pictures are so cute, I bet she is so much bigger now!
     
    HUGS  -Jen

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