Obviously, nobody is perfect.  When two people are together there is always going to be compromise because not only are they not perfect,  they are never going to be perfect for you.  It is impossible.  Human beings are complex and everchanging. 
So… you aren’t looking for someone perfect or someone perfect for you but someone who you can live peacefully with and put up with those things that irritate you, irk and just want to make you scream.   And that is the question isn’t it?  What exactly can you put up with?
Is the cap off the toothpaste offset by the fact that he makes the bed?
Is the toilet seat up offset by the fact that he does dishes?
Is the fact that he never cooks offset by the fact that he can make you laugh?
These questions are not indicative of my relationship with Eduardo.  He always puts the cap on the toothpaste for instance.  They are simply examples of irritants that can bother people.   At what point do you decide that the irritants outweigh the good attributes?  How much should you put up with before you simply just give up and say you are not compatible?
I am not very good with this question.  I think in the past, I have generally put up with a lot of things that have driven me batty.  I honestly don’t know if I have the stamina to really deal with the things that I have brushed aside in the past.  This is not necessarily a good thing as there is some level of stuff that you simply need to brush off.
I have discovered that Eduardo gets upset fairly easily if things are not going his way.  This is not to say that he is always upset because many things are not important enough to him to care if they go his way or not.  But should he decide that it is important enough, he gets upset and seems to be unable to compromise – at least in the beginning.  Instead, he gets petulant – almost like a child.  I have discovered that avoidance of the upsetting topic seems to be the best way to deal with it.  Eventually, he comes to the point where he can talk about the topic and we can come to some compromise.  But it is that inbetween part that is making me wonder if the trade-offs are worth it.  I seem to be short on patience these days with dealing with the traits that bother me.

2 responses to “Trade-offs

  1. Lucinda ... cindi, too

    WOW!  This was a powerful post for me.  You are so right about relationships not being the perfect partner but the partner you’re willing to "put up with."  I think there are some that are certainly more tolerable than others, but they’re men.  Let’s face it, they’re going to annoy us – LOL.  Much love to you …

  2. good question…this really has me thinking since I am a neat-freak adn Todd…well…he’s not at all.  I need to ponder…hope you are well.  good lick with tests! -rey

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