Harmony is back to her shenanigans. If you kick her out of the bedroom she will eventually start crying at the bedroom door. If you let her stay in the bedroom, she walks all over Eduardo. Around 5:30 or so, she will eventually start playing with the blinds which will definitely wake you up. Eduardo hasn’t slept for 2 nights.
I also haven’t slept for 2 nights because I have been in total agony with my upper back/shoulder. I think part of it is stress. I noticed last night when I got home from class that the pain in my shoulder started creeping back up my neck and into my head. It was at an all time high when I finally went to bed. So no sleep last night. The stress came from Eduardo last night. He was upset about something. I don’t know what. He says he felt lonely last night. Maybe that was it. I could figure out that something was wrong although he said nothing was. Naturally, he wouldn’t talk about it.
After lying in bed for 10 or 15 minutes he seemed to have gotten back to himself. He even told me about his family and about the city that he grew up in for an hour or more because I was in so much pain and could barely lie still let alone fall asleep. That was a sweet gesture that I appreciate. I think if this keeps up I am going to end up back in physical therapy.
I am having severe motivational issues with respect to finishing up my schoolwork. I got another assignment back last night… A-. So 70% of my marks are back. I think I can consider myself officially passed now. I have just one assignment left – my final paper. I have my books approved. I have my general topic approved. I now have to specifically write a rough draft just for handing in purposes which I think is ridiculous. Why? because he wants to see a rough draft of the project. Usually, when I write, I write all in one shot (well ok… over several nights). It takes about an hour to write a page but when I’ve gotten to the last page… I am done. I make very few edits after. This isn’t very effective for a rough draft so I need to create a rough draft just to hand in. *sigh*
For Elle, and anyone else that cares: I am getting a certificate in Latin American Studies. I can’t do much with it but at least it is something I can put on a resume that validates all my schooling for the last 6 years. I can say that I know Spanish.
And for the weekend…..
I can’t say everything that happened over the weekend because that would let the cat out of the bag and I can’t do that totally. But we did have a doozy of a fight. I am still not sure what to do about what he has talked to me about. I was upset because he spoke to his ex for 1.5 hours on Saturday night. It is not like he talks about anything inappropriate but it doesn’t exactly thrill me that he speaks to her that much. He says that because I am friends with my exes that allows him to talk to his ex. I don’t have an issue with him being friends… but 2-3 hours a week of talking? I talk to Mike probably less than 30 minutes a week and my others exes – maybe a few times a year. I realize they share kids but I know all the talking is not about children. And to have him say to me that he wants to talk to her because they speak the same language and it is easier is a bit of a blow.
Somehow from there we moved onto me. He says that I don’t let him make decisions. I pretend to but I don’t really because I put restrictions on his selections. For example, I let him select soda… but only caffeine free. Or I let him select ice cream flavours but only if they are light ice cream. The restriction is because I don’t drink caffeinated soda nor eat full fat ice cream. The latest example was over what we were going to do for the afternoon. I listed a bunch of things that we could do. I included Mount Vernon and said he might enjoy that. I then told him that Mount Vernon had a fee associated with it so let me call and find out how much it was to get in. It was 13$. I told him it seemed kind of ridiculous to pay 13$ for a couple of hours when we wouldn’t be able to get through the whole site within that time. I said… let’s do that some other time when we get up earlier. It seemed logical didn’t it? He got mad because I took the choice away. He finally decided on Arlington Cemetary which ended up being kind of nice because it was Veteran’s Day and had some special events. But he also seemed to think I chose Arlington Cemetary – THAT I know I didn’t do.
He also got mad about not taking the camera. I meant to take it. I forget it. I always forget it. It annoys me to no end that I forget it. We were just at the entrance to our apt. complex when Eduardo mentioned that we forgot the camera. I asked him if he wanted to go back to get it. He said no. I responded with… well thats ok because we can always go back and see it again. It is not like it is far away. For me… the camera might have been nice but it didn’t really matter one way or another. For him… apparently he really, really wanted to take the camera but because I asked him if we wanted to turn around and I didn’t just turn the car around (like any peruvian would) he no longer wanted the camera. Then was upset because my face didn’t appear enthusiastic (think NY trip – enthusiasm is an important issue)
I ended up going to church by myself on Sunday. This wouldn’t have been such a big deal except that Eduardo stayed in bed right up until I left. I forgot my phone on the coffee table so I went back to get it and low and behold – there was Eduardo walking out of the bedroom. He deliberately stayed in bed until I had left. That was a blow to my heart or some such place inside of me.
Eventually, we made up but I just don’t know what to do about these issues – especially regarding the issues of culture and my control/dominance or whatever it might be.