Do the little things make a person?

I have a serious question and would appreciate any advice that you guys can give me.
Lets say you’ve met someone.  In general, you believe that they are a good person.  Or at least they try to be a good person but there are these ‘little things’ that show you a less than good person side.  For example, these ‘little things’ might show you that they are a bit hypocritical or that they are selfish.  But if you look at the bigger picture… at the day-to-day gestures of this person… they show they are a good person.
Yesterday, I was told that the ‘little things’ show the true nature of the person.  Even one or two little things that they do that are contrary to this good person side could override the million other things they did that really are good things.  True or false?
Up until now, I had been brushing aside little things as exactly that – just little things.  Things I could adjust to and get used to because they were little things.  Today I made a list of the little things that have been bothering me.  It is about a dozen little things that all point to a couple of different character traits that are not exactly the top 10 character traits you are looking for in a person.  Having examined some of these ‘little things’,  I am wondering if I should be taking this advice and paying attention to them.
If I am being judged on the couple of ‘little things’ that I have done with no regard to any of the other things that I have done, should I be judging the other person on the ‘little things’?   

3 responses to “Do the little things make a person?

  1. Hmm this is a serious question, and a tough one to answer.  I feel like I am a good person overall, but I have several "little things" – I am immature in a lot of ways, I am a gossip, I am not good with confrontation and I can be passive agressive.  If I am tired, or hungry, or out of sorts I have a very short temper and I am likely to yell.  I am a terrible housekeeper and I have a short attention span.  I am hypocritical (recent example: it is OK for men to sing songs about strippers and I usually like those songs.  But women who sing about them are trampy and I don’t like those songs).  On the other hand, I am funny and it is hard to be in a bad mood when you are out with me.  I will do just about anything for anybody, even if it means giving up something I wanted.  I am a good planner.  I love kids and animals.  Luckily for me, Shawn is able to accept my "little things" and love me for who I am, warts and all. 
    I don’t believe in absolute good or absolute evil.  Everyone has a mix of both in them.  I think that the key to any relationship (friend, lover, any type of relationship) is being able to love the person for exactly who they are, and being able to accept that no one is perfect.  We will all have moments where we act in ways we are not proud of, or in ways that are different from our personality.  As long as the little things are actually little, and they are able to be overlooked, then the relationship should be fine.
    Hopefully I answered the question amid all that rambling!  🙂
    HUGS  -Jen

  2. EVERYONE has some faults.  I think the holistic approach is the best…but if there ARE things that bother you, by all means speak up!

  3. Sometimes we decieve ourselves because we don’t want to fail at something, so we tell ourselves that they are "little" things when in reality they really are very important things that we have feelings and opininons on…To answer your question, though:  in my opinion, ‘yes’, the little things do add up…the "little things" are the things that we are supposed to be able to work on and compromise to…if a person is unwilling or CAN’T compromise then the "little things" really aren’t that little…in fact, it’s a HUGE part of that person if they can’t make an effort to change them for the better.  Eventually, though:  you will wind up resenting that person based on the so-called "little things"  because, in reality, they’re not a small ordeal.  ~Rey

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