Once upon a time, I had someone ask me to throw something out because it bothered them that I had it. I obliged and threw the object into the garbage. I had a cat that liked to take interesting things out of the garbage and play with them. She saw this object and thought it would be a cool toy and stole it from the garbage. Later on, I took the garbage and threw it in a big garbage bag and walked it out to the curb. What I didn’t know was that this object was still floating around in my house. I never saw the object again although it wouldn’t have taken much looking to find it. Several weeks later, the person that asked me to throw it out discovered the object was still in my house. They got angry and accused me of lying to them and trying to trick them in thinking I had done what I had said I had done. Because they were angry, they destroyed something of mine that had great value to me(no monetary value – just emotional value) and was irreplaceable.
This is simply a story to disguise the innocent but the underlying concept of the story is true. I thought I had gotten rid of something that ended up accidentally not being gotten rid of. The person did destroy something of mine that was very valuable although only valuable to me and 100% irreplaceable. I can not get back what they destroyed.
I made a mistake. Perhaps if I had of taken more care, I would have realized that I hadn’t done what I said I was going to do but I didn’t take that extra step to ensure that my task was carried out. As a result of that mistake, it looked like I had lied and betrayed this person. In their anger, they hit back and did something that they knew would hurt me. I don’t understand that. Yes, I hurt this person but it was by accident. At worse, it was because of neglect because I didn’t check that everything was actually done. Am I wrong in thinking that hurt by accident is not in the same category as hurt on purpose? Am I just being too petty or am I being too easy on my actions and too harsh on theirs?
This person has apologized but I am not certain that I am over their betrayal. I have told them that I accept their apology but I am not sure that I forgive them. All I know is that our relationship was changed by their actions and will likely remain changed for some time to come. I am sure that they feel the same way because I don’t think they believed me when I said I had thought I had completed the task.