A friend asks me if I know of any medical professional that has X qualities in Y field. I do some looking around for her but the only person that I come up with ends up unsuitable. She comes back to me and asks if I have any more ideas. I tell her that I am tapped out but I refer her to someone that we both know that I think is more in touch with this type of thing. Every now and again she keeps complaining that she can’t find what she is looking for. I keep asking her if she has asked this mutual acquaintance. I really think that she can help. She tells me a number of times that she hasn’t and then one day responds back saying that the mutual acquaintance doesn’t know anybody (this was at most a month ago?). Just the other day, my friend gets back to me and says, Oh I talked to So-and-So and she told me about this person that will work perfectly…. hmmm… interesting that… given that just recently you told me that she didn’t know anybody. For the love of mercy, if you aren’t going to take my advice… quit asking me for it and please don’t lie about whether or not you took it. I’m not offended if you don’t take it (just irritated at times) but I am deeply offended if you lie to me about something so insignificant.
A friend was talking to me about looking for work in a city close to here (we will call it Y). She is having some problems finding a job. I tell her that I can call Jane Blow, someone I know that is in that industry and she might know someone who is hiring. She says to me that she would like me to call. So I call Jane Blow but she can’t help specifically because she doesn’t know too much about companies located in Y but she gives me some advice on what kind of companies (and some names of appropriate national companies that might be located there) are hiring people with her qualifications. I go back to my friend and tell her that my friend Jane didn’t know of anyone specifically but this is her advice. The response back was: those kinds of companies don’t exist in Y. I told her that I thought it was hard to believe that these types of companies didn’t exist and she should do some investigation based on Jane’s advice. She simply repeated that she knew they didn’t exist in Y. Ok….. if you knew the specifics you would know that statement is absolutely false. Y is not so small that absolutely no companies of that type would exist there. That is like saying that Y doesn’t have any 7-11s. Now I don’t know Y that well either so I decided to look on the internet just to see if the statement was as false as I thought it would be. I have to admit, there weren’t many choices but I found several appropriate companies. One of these companies was even one that was recommended by name. Because I wanted to prove a point (like maybe I was right? – what can I say… I am human after all), I even called this company to see if they were hiring someone with her qualifications and they were. This took me about 15-30 minutes. Again… if you don’t want to take my advice… please just say so but don’t blow me off with whatever crap that springs to your mind. In fact, it would be better if you simply didn’t waste my time asking me for help in the first place.