relationships, community, meaning, a sense of purpose, and use of one’s
most valued skills that make us happy." – lifted from the No Impact Man blog
What will Piero and I remember from this weekend? Will we remember his first ride on his bicycle down the walking path? Or will we remember the box of plastic ocean toys Eduardo bought him? The kids almost seem happiest when buying things. This bothers me immensely. We went out to buy shoes for Piero because his shoes were entirely too small for him by 1 to 2 sizes. As soon as we hit the store, Kylie decided that she too needed shoes despite the fact that she already has multiple pair of shoes that fit her. Piero had 1 pair of shoes. His was a need… hers was a want. Trying to tell her that Piero needed shoes and she didn’t just wasn’t cutting it. She ended up with shoes. We bought her boots that were a size too big that she could put thick socks in for winter and would then likely grow into for next spring or fall.
Short of keeping them out of stores – which we primarily do because neither of us are shoppers and both of us hate the whining that comes with going into a store with them – how do we give them understanding that the latest widget/gadget does not make them happy nor does it tell them how much we love them? Buying a toy takes 15 minutes of our time and very little thought on our part. Making a memory takes considerable time and effort on our part and in my mind shows them how important we are to them. Going down the walking path with them on their bikes took a considerable amount of time. It also took some patience and coaxing to get Piero riding by himself. He was pretty scared of his bike. It also took some kisses, encouragement and Neosporin to get them back on their bikes after a tumble. I will have forgotten the toy in a couple of weeks but going for this bike ride will stay with me for quite some time. Which will stay with him? I fear it will be the toy that he bought and I don’t think that is the kind of memories he needs to grow into a strong, secure little boy.
As well as the shoes and the plastic ocean toys, we also bought Kylie a little stoller for her dolls and I bought a little 12" baby doll that fits into the clothes that Grandma and Aunt Anna made me. Kylie has no toys at our house to play with. Piero has a few that have either been mine or we have managed to pry out of his little hands and convince him to leave it at our place. They want all of their toys to go home with them to Kelly. Piero still cries sometimes when I tell him that the movies that we have borrowed from the library do not go home with him to Kelly. We did it once and getting the movie back before we got fined for being late was a major hassle. I said never again. So I wanted to buy a doll that fit the clothes. This doll was not given to Kylie as a gift. She watched me buy it. Piero watched me buy it and asked about it in front of her. I told him it was for my doll clothes. Did he remember that I wanted a doll for my doll clothes? He did and he was satisfied that the doll was mine and not a second gift for Kylie. Now Kylie will have a doll and some clothes to play with when she comes to our house. She is a lot more easy going than Piero so I don’t anticipate any tears over leaving the things at our house. We shall see when I get home tonight since Kylie is still at our house today. I will be pretty upset if they head home to Kelly because those clothes are treasures items that I don’t wish to actually give to Kylie. I don’t mind her playing with them but at the end of the day… they are my childhood memories.