Tough Love

Background Note: In case anyone reading this thinks it might be a step-mother
thing… it is not.  He shows the same disrespect to his mother,
father and teachers and is now starting in on his little sister.

My step-son has literally broken my heart yesterday.  I truly believed that if he was given enough love, support and encouragement, he would turn around his attitude.  I have come to the conclusion that I have been wrong.  The little boy is simply ungrateful and disrespectful and no amount of patience or love is going to change that.

It was a little thing but after dealing with the gradual escalation of his disrespect over the last few weeks, I guess all it took was a little thing.   I had brought some Silly Putty home from work to do a little home repair with.  I had left it at home (this morning it is back at work) and the kids found it and started playing with it.  The Silly Putty is a bronze/brown colour.  I will leave it to your imagination what kinds of things they have been imagining about it.  Yesterday,  Eduardo was doing his homework at the kitchen table.   Kylie was on one side of him playing with the Silly Putty and Piero was on the other side watching Kylie.  I knew he wanted to play with it too.  I walked over to him and suggested he get out his Play Doh and play with that since it was pretty close to Silly Putty.   I heard him make some sound and then say something like OK.  He wasn’t facing me because I had actually walked up behind him to speak to him.   The next thing I know Eduardo went ballastic.  Apparently,  Piero had also said something very quietly that I couldn’t hear but Eduardo saw and heard.  He said "Poto".  This is a Spanish word that translates somewhat close to the word butt although it refers more to the ‘crack’ than the entire butt.  Basically, it is kind of like someone saying behind your back… "Bitch"…. 

Piero says that Eduardo misunderstood him and he didn’t say it.  But I don’t believe him.  It is very hard to believe that a little boy who is always disrespectful was amazingly not disrespectful that one time. Piero is upset that I don’t believe him and I am finished with trying to be understanding.  I told him that we have told him multiple times that disrespect was not acceptable in this household.  Being nice about it was over and there would be no more warnings or second chances or anything.   The next time he was disrespectful there would simply be punishment.  His first response was… What if I forget to be respectful?  What the heck kind of answer is that:  "Forget to be respectful…"?  You have to remember to be respectful?  His sister is 4 and doesn’t have any issues with being respectful.  The number of times she is disrespectful is what I would actually consider to be normal for a child.   I don’t consider it to be normal to have a child disrespectful at least once every single evening we have them.  If I kept track of it,  I would likely find out that he is disrespectful more than once an evening on average. Not normal… and I am not putting up with it anymore.

And although I know that I wasn’t a perfect kid,  I am positive we did not act like this towards my parents on a continuing basis.


One response to “Tough Love

  1. Geez–that’s tough. I’m sorry you have to deal with all that.

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