Balancing Act

A blog was written by a husband and wife team talking about balancing household chores and caring for children.  Many comments were written about how the other spouse is ‘keeping score’.  One blogger wrote this in response:

Unfortunately, the argument that someone who truly loves you shouldn’t
be keeping score goes both ways. Someone who truly loves you should
also be caring about whether you feel loved, appreciated, and treated
fairly.

Would you be keeping score if you felt appreciated?  I think not.   Just imagine how many spouses would not be keeping score if the other spouse just acted like they cared about what the other person was doing to keep things going.

I know I don’t mind going out of my way to do something for someone when I know my actions are going to be appreciated.  But to go out of my way to do something for someone to turn around and have them bitch when I ask them to do something in return?  Exactly how many times do you think I am going to do something willingly for you when you can’t do things willingly for me.  I am not talking about tit-for-tat – you do something for me and I will do something for you.  I am referring to general attitude.  Eventually, your general attitude of "Why the f— are you bothering me?" will grind down my general attitude of "Sure".  Already I see myself not offering to do things that I might have offered to do in the past.  Now, you need to ask me.  And even then,  I don’t jump on it like it would be a pleasure to help you.  I do it because you asked and I am still nice enough.  One day, I suspect that I won’t even be that nice. 

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