“Someone like you”

A while back I was talking to a loved one.  Specifically I was trying
to figure out if the other person was truly interested in trying to
repair the relationship.  If not, then he was certainly free to walk
away.  In fact, please walk away.  I said to the loved one that I
didn’t want to be in a relationship with someone who wasn’t
enthusiastic about the relationship.  His response was, "How can anyone
be enthusiastic about a relationship with someone like you?"  I am
positive that is a direct quote.  The statement didn’t hurt my feelings
that I remember although I suppose it should have.  That lack of hurt
was probably indicative of the health of the relationship.  For some
strange reason, this has come back to bug me and I have spent
considerable time thinking about it.  In fact, it has really been
bugging me over the last couple of weeks and particularly over the last
couple of days.  I think it started bugging me when my pastor told me
that this statement was meant to be hurtful.   In other words, my loved
one was trying to wound me by saying this.  I spoke to my Mom about
this the other day and she was left quite shocked.  I could hear the
shock over the phone.  So the question of what "someone like you" is
like has really preyed on my mind.  How bad am I that nobody would like
to be in a relationship with "someone like me".  So I turned to an
expert in "someone like me".  I have known my ex for 1/2 of my adult
life.  We were married for 1/3 of my adult like.  With any luck,
someone like this knows me… the real me.  So I asked him what
"someone like you" was like.  This is his response:

[edit some salution stuff].  Here are my thoughts:

You are not a difficult person to live with or understand, as long as
you are willing or able to make a logical point to your argument/idea. 
If it is an emotional rationale, then it gets a little confusing.  You
can get stubborn about things, but that is human nature.  I personally
did not find you difficult, most likely it was the other way around. [edit of some personal information about him]

I have always thought you were/are kind, caring, honest and mostly
considerate of others.  Your good-hearted ways are what I fell in love
with so many years ago… [edit some potentially identifying personal
stuff that talks about one of our first meetings about 15 years ago
that demonstrates my supposed good hearted ways]

[edit some ending stuff]

All in all… I didn’t think that sounded so bad.  I honestly don’t think my ex would ever say something like that.  I think he could imagine someone being enthusiastic about being in a relationship with "someone like you".  I shall consider
this more and will likely end up with a post about what I think about
"someone like me"

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One response to ““Someone like you”

  1. That statement was very hurtful. I felt the sting of the words and they weren’t even directed toward me. I hope you figure things out. ((Hug))~ FC

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