Parent or not?

On June 19th, Piero had his graduation ceremony.  It just so happened that Eduardo was off work due to weather and I was not at work yet because I had not felt well in the morning.  Eduardo told me he was going to his graduation ceremony.  I asked if I could go along and I would just go to work a little later than planned.  Eduardo said something to the effect of "No thank, you".  In other words, I wasn’t welcome.  When I said that it wasn’t very fair to ask me to do the work of parenthood (I had driven him to school on rare occasions up to this point and did LOTS of homework with him) but not allow me to get involved in the perks of parenthood, he told me something about changing that in the future.

In June, right after that graduation ceremony I was asked to drive the kids to their babysitter on any day that Kelly worked.  I said that I would do it for the summer only but I didn’t want to do it in the fall.  Taking Piero to school means I don’t get to work until 9am.  1 to 2 hours later than I normally do.  I made this condition clear up front.  2 weeks before school started, Eduardo got upset when I reiterated that I wasn’t planning on continuing because Kelly still hadn’t managed to make alternate arrangements.  So about once a week, I am asked to drive Kylie to the babysitting and Piero to school.  I do it because it is easier to just agree to do it.  I gather that Kelly has managed to find someone else doing it the other days.

And now you are wondering what these two things have to do with each other right?

Last night, I was told that there was some Open House at the school that he needed to attend. I can’t remember if I asked if I could come or if I asked him if he wanted me to go.  Either way, I was told I wasn’t welcome.  He had no idea what the Open House was for so I looked it up today.  It is a "Meet the Teacher".  So I am enough of a parent to drive Piero to school and help with his homework but I am not quite enough of a parent to attend any kind of event that would require acknowledgment of my position in his life.  This would bother me more if it wasn’t just a reinforcement of what I already knew about my position in the family.


4 responses to “Parent or not?

  1. Girl, I joked about Roy having 2 wives….this is not a joke. You are either in the kids’ lives or not……and Eduardo’s. You are being used. Totally.

  2. I agree with Nadine. What Eduardo is doing is wrong. And it is sending a message to the kids that it is ok to treat a significant other this way. Undermines your authority with the kids and sets them up to think that it’s ok for their future relationships.Hugs, Jen

  3. ((Hugs)) You are being treated unfairly. ~ FC

  4. You’re allowing Eduardo to use, take advantage of, and mistreat you. It’s almost the same as if he beat the crap out of you. I don’t think you appreciate your own value – Eduardo definitely doesn’t. Stand up for yourself. Don’t be afraid to say NO. They’re Kelly’s kids so let her be the one inconvenienced, not you. GRRRR. This makes me so angry!!!

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