I am not sure that I made it clear in prior posts about exactly what happened after the end of my marriage so let me state it clearly….
Eduardo moved in with Kelly and the kids.
Now that you now that fact the rest of the blog post may make more sense. Eduardo moved in with Kelly and then they made plans to buy a house. They moved into their house at the end of October if I remember correctly. The kids wanted me to see their new house. They were so proud to have their own bedrooms. So I went to see their new house. I was profoundly sad and cried. All I could think of was that this should have been Eduardo and I. The house is cute. It would have been something I might have considered for us. I have been back several times since then at Eduardo’s/the kids’ invitation. Each time I have felt ambivalent? sadness? regret? This last time, Kylie proudly told me about the 4 of them raking up the leaves. Inside the house, I see that pictures are being hung, the entertainment center is put together and the house is becoming a home. Although Eduardo and Kelly are supposedly not a couple, they are definitely a family. Again, this should have been us and instead he has the family and I have? Not sure… but certainly not a family.
And I can’t even explain this sadness. It is not like I wish for him back. I don’t wish for him back. The relationship is over and my heart is closed. Perhaps it is the idea of what the relationship could have been – and wasn’t – that makes me sad. Perhaps it is the idea that I had a family and that family went up in a puff of smoke that makes me sad. Not being with him? Not sad about that.
I am trying to be mature about this but I don’t think I can take much more of watching them play house and being a family. I know the kids want to see me at their house but I don’t think I am going to be able to indulge them in this for much longer.
After suffering for most of last week, I can safely say that milk will no longer be part of my diet.
I started drinking milk on Friday. I had one cup on Friday, Saturday and Sunday morning. On Sunday, about mid-afternoon, I started to get stomach cramps. I ate at Chuck E Cheese (chicken wings and fries) which was probably a mistake because it confused everything. I then proceeded to drink milk until late Wednesday night. This entire time I had tons of gas and stomach cramps. I felt better by Thursday afternoon which still left me wondering about the chicken and fries. On Friday, I was going to get more milk and keep going but the pain came back. At this point, I decided that it seemed unlikely that my lunch on Sunday was STILL bothering me 5 days later and it was likely milk. Saturday and Sunday, I felt fine.
So… my first introduction failed miserably and I am still eating the same basic diet that I have eaten for the last 5+ weeks.
Yesterday, I broke my diet a bit to go out to a potluck. I had carrots (on restricted diet) and hummus which contained chickpeas and sesame seeds (not on restricted diet). This morning, I feel a little crampy and hope it is simply a coincidence and nothing more. Will I not be able to add anything to my diet successfully? I hope to start adding peanut butter on Wednesday.
Apparently, Frankie came up from Florida with a bunch of uninvited friends and it is creating havoc in my house. On Saturday evening, I noticed a flea on her and picked it off. Another flea seen on her Sunday had me looking more closely and on Monday, I got Harmony some Frontline to make sure the fleas didn’t jump ship. She lost hair at the site of application and is now a little bald. Frankie had significant flea dirt on her so she has had fleas for a while. On Tuesday, I decided to take her to the vet so I could get some flea medication for her. I couldn’t get anything for her without making a vet appointment. I wasn’t particularly with it, so I forgot that a fecal test had already been done on Frankie (by the breeder’s vet) and allowed my vet to do one. When I got home and realized my mistake, I was cursing the waste of money as I was applying Revolution to Frankie. And then I discovered that Harmony had diarrhea and had an accident on the carpet. That was pretty disgusting to clean up. About an hour later she vomited up food. Now I am worried. So Wednesday rolls around and the vet calls. Frankie has coccidia (an intestinal parasite) and since Harmony has diarrhea, she probably has it now too. A third stop at the vets to get the medication on Wednesday night. Harmony fights me like you wouldn’t believe when I try to give it to her and this morning she throws up her dose. Poor Harmony. The kitten is scampering around like there is nothing wrong and Harmony is being done in by the parasites she brought in.
So I write an email to the breeder explaining these woes and suggesting she look into her own cats. And then I whip out the sales agreement and decide to read it. Frankie comes with a guarantee that she will be free of external and internal parasites. I didn’t ask the breeder for reimbursement of my vet expenses (some 200$ at this point) because I didn’t realize she came with this guarantee so I am curious to see how she responds to my email.
The kitten arrived last Friday. Although I had seen pictures of her, I was still not prepared for how exotic she looked. I am also not sure I am prepared for how unusual she acts for a cat. She is definitely different than your regular old stray. I think this led to an extremely difficult time naming her. I looked at lists and lists of names. Discarded my original list, went back to my original list, came up with the name Frankie, felt like I should discard Frankie for some other choice that wasn’t yet decided on and then came back to Frankie. I have no idea if Frankie is the right name or not but it is the name she has. And like her, Frankie is an exotic choice for a girl’s name. According to this site , Frankie was far more popular as a girls name in the late 1800s than a boy’s name. In the 1920’s it started to gain popularity as a boy’s name with equal numbers of boys and girls being given the name in the 1930’s. At that point, its popularity for girls dropped like a rock to essentially disappear in the early 1970s. So, I am resurrecting an old-fashioned girl’s name for my baby.
I have pics and will post them at some point. I promise.