Last night I was instant messaging with my step-father. In fact, my step-father and I talk a lot through instant message. We talk more than my Mom and I talk. And I think that is because of the convenience of multi-tasking. I can chat with him while doing something else on my computer. You can’t multi-task in the same way while on the phone. But I digress…
During our talk, I mentioned that I went on a date last week. He told me not to go too fast. I told him that 2 dates in 6 months was hardly the definition of fast because my last date was in January. He told me to speed up then. And that advice didn’t set well with me either because I am having difficulty finding someone that I think is even worth the effort. I have only gone on two dates because a) I am busy and b) I haven’t found someone interesting enough to get past the reluctance of entering the game.
Dating seems to be a game that I am becoming increasingly tired of playing. Lets look at my results in the last year:
- Grocery boy – He was a friend who apparently upon realizing that I was single expressed his interest. Then he stood me up and then he disappeared. He didn’t even call me back to express his condolences about my grandmother’s death. I was pretty disappointed with the whole affair.
- Then there were the miscellaneous match.com folks that I never met. Like the guy who went all the way to suggesting we meet for happy hour on a particular day and then asked me where I wanted to go. When I responded back with my two choices, he disappeared. Or how about the guy that I was speaking to that disappeared after suggesting that we meet.
- Match.com guy: He actually seemed nice. I wish that he hadn’t of creeped me out when he touched me. This didn’t go well but I manned up and told him that we weren’t going anywhere. I haven’t heard from him since and didn’t expect to.
- Another friend: After approaching him with my interest, he told he was not but he was more of a slow boil kind of guy. He finally told me he wasn’t interested but this was after I followed up with him. At least he told me honestly even if it required a bit of prompting and that might explain why we have been friends for so long.
- My Starbucks date: After emphasizing how honest he was and that he would definitely tell me if he wasn’t interested… I haven’t heard anything from him outside of his last words saying he would see me again. So much for honesty.
- Home Depot guy: I got sick this week so I haven’t met with him after all. I have to wonder why he didn’t ‘fess up to being married right away. Perhaps he though my interest was platonic so there was nothing to ‘fess up to. Or maybe I am so freaking jaded from all the other guys that I am attributing nefarious motivations to a man that has none.
- And then there were all of those Match.com guys who talked about being gentleman and couldn’t even acknowledge – even with a nicely worded rejections – my thoughtfully written emails of introduction to them. Not terribly gentlemanly if you ask me.
Ironically, the few guys that have shown decency have not been interested in me. And of course they are the men that I am most interested in. How hard can it be to find a man who says they are interested and acts like they are interested or simply tells you they are not interested instead of leaving you hanging wondering if you are going to see them again? Is straightforwardness really such an unusual character trait? Or is it not allowed in the dating game?